{"id":258367,"date":"2024-01-03T07:05:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-03T12:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/electricliterature.com\/?p=258367"},"modified":"2023-12-20T15:59:00","modified_gmt":"2023-12-20T20:59:00","slug":"the-space-by-christopher-boucher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/electricliterature.com\/the-space-by-christopher-boucher\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m in Love with My Ex’s Absence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Space<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I loved you, and when you left, you left a Space. And I fell in love with that Space. Not right away, I mean, but over time. At first I hated<\/em> the Space. It was just always there<\/em>! But then I somehow got used to the Space. Then I started to appreciate it, and then I missed it when it was gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I knew it, the Space and I had become friends. I started really enjoying hanging out with the Space; I liked talking to it, and listening to it too\u2014to its opinions, hopes, doubts and worst fears. This might sound strange, but the Space and I even sort of had our own secret language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One night, the Space and I ran into some old friends of mine, David and Iris\u2014I don\u2019t think you know them\u2014walking out of the movie theater. \u201cDavid!\u201d I said. \u201cIris!\u201d I hugged them both. \u201cI want you to meet someone.\u201d I gestured to the Space. \u201cThis is the Space.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

David and Iris looked at me, and then at each other, and then at the Space.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd this,\u201d I said to the Space, \u201cis David and Iris.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Space smiled.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d said Iris. \u201cWhat?\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIris,\u201d said David.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is the Space,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Space waved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We went our separate ways, but a few hours later I texted David: So what did you think?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of the movie?<\/em> he responded.\u00a0Yeah good.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No of the Space!<\/em> I wrote. We\u2019re just friends now but I think there might be a real connection here?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I was right about that. The following week, the Space and I went for a walk behind the college when it started to downpour. I took the Space\u2019s hand and we ran for cover under a nearby tree, where I stopped abruptly against the trunk and the Space sort of stumbled into me. Before I knew it, the Space was looking into my eyes and I was looking into the Space\u2019s eyes. Then the Space put its arms around me and kissed me, and I kissed back.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The weeks that followed might have been the best weeks of my life. Some nights the Space and I went on proper dates\u2014skating hand-in-hand at the university ice rink; hiking up Mt. Geryk\u2014and other nights we just spent hours on my couch talking to each other and kissing. It really didn\u2019t matter what<\/em> we did as long as we were together. One night that summer, I told the Space I was falling in love with it, and the Space said it loved me too. That was our first night together; I fell asleep in the Space\u2019s warm embrace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soon the Space and I were basically living together; it kept its own place, but it was at my apartment all the time. We got used to each other\u2019s daily rhythms and habits; we ate our meals together, exercised together, watched TV or read together every night. I grew accustomed to falling asleep next to the Space, and waking up to find the Space still there beside me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Admittedly, sometimes the Space would get quiet\u2014distant. At times I felt like the Space was right there with me, focused and present, but at others it seemed vacant and removed. In those moments, as strange as it sounds, I almost felt lonely\u2014despite the presence of the Space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One night that fall, the Space and I were watching a science fiction movie when my phone rang. It was you. I was taken aback; I hadn\u2019t talked to you in months. \u201cHold on a second, will you?\u201d I said to the Space, and I took the phone into the other room.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You asked if we could meet and talk. \u201cYeah, sure we can,\u201d I said. \u201cBut I should tell you that I\u2019m seeing someone.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh,\u201d you said. \u201cYou are?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you remember the Space that you left when we broke up?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe\u2014what?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere was a Space\u2014a really significant one,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd while we didn\u2019t get along at first, we eventually became friends, and\u2014\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou and\u2014who now?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut the relationship, you know, evolved,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd now things with the Space are going really well.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh-kay,\u201d you said. \u201cWell, I\u2014OK.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut listen\u2014how are you<\/em>?\u201d I said. \u201cIs everything OK?\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d you said. \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood\u2014I\u2019m really glad to hear that,\u201d I said. \u201cIt\u2019s really nice to talk to you,\u201d I added, because it was. I\u2019d missed you\u2014maybe even more than I\u2019d realized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I got off the phone, though, the Space sat me down and said it needed some time apart. I was flabbergasted. \u201cI don\u2019t understand,\u201d I told it. \u201cI thought things were going great.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the Space said it needed space. I asked the Space how long it had felt this way, but the Space wouldn\u2019t elaborate; it just sat there silently, an empty expression on its face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve built a life <\/em>together,\u201d I told the Space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Space didn\u2019t even reply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can you not have anything to say to that?\u201d I said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Space left my place that very night. I was so bereft I couldn\u2019t sleep. I called you early the next morning and you came right over to console me. \u201cI just miss the Space so much<\/em>,\u201d I sobbed into your shoulder.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know,\u201d you said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI honestly don\u2019t know how I\u2019m going to live without it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know it seems impossible,\u201d you told me. \u201cBut tomorrow, you\u2019re going to realize that you don\u2019t need the Space as much as you thought. And there\u2019ll be less of the Space in your mind the day after that<\/em>, and the day after that<\/em>. Until one day you realize you\u2019ve forgotten the Space completely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I nodded as if I understood, but inside I knew I\u2019d never get over the Space. I vowed right then and there to keep its memory close, and to hold a place for the Space in my heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Space I loved you, and when you left, you left a Space. And I fell in love with that Space. Not right away, I mean, but over time. At first I hated the Space. It was just always there! But then I somehow got used to the Space. Then I started to appreciate it, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6267,"featured_media":258398,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5557,5965,5561],"tags":[18,94],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI'm in Love with My Ex's Absence - Electric Literature<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""The Space," flash fiction by Christopher Boucher\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/electricliterature.com\/the-space-by-christopher-boucher\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I'm in Love with My Ex's Absence - 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